Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
being pregnant is like rehab
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
