When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
