just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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