So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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