3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
