Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
