She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
