dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
