i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
