Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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