They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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