You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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