last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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