I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
