So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
