Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
