He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
