My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
