Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
