i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
