Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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