It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
