It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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