Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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