Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
