It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
