if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
