put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
