she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
my liver is dry heaving
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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