he thought i was a dude.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
