i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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