i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
she looked like the before picture.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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