I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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