her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Are my feet made of real feet?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
