$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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