Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish you could order shots online.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
