so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
