I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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