hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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