do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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