I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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