I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
