i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
