There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
