We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize