Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize