There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
