I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
