Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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