Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
