I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize