I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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