Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think I have vodka in my lungs
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize