I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
