he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
