party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
