it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
