it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize