dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
