She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
