That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
