come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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