Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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