I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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