Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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