How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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