We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
